A new year is traditionally the time when people think about changes they wish to make. These changes can be about lifestyle, career, job, aspirations, stopping bad habits, personal skills and confidence, wellbeing and life work balance. So they make a new year's resolution.
I read a number of articles and publications in late 2017 about NOT having a new year resolution. These were posted by writers, respected researchers and experts. Why did they say this? Because within days of making resolutions most people lapse and give up. Sound familiar?
Why is making a resolution and sticking to it hard? Because until we have a positive reason, a clear goal and a plan AND we can do something that is achievable, it won't become a habit that sticks. And that takes more time, motivation and thinking. Plus it means working out how to make changes, possibly overcoming challenges and obstacles, and even involve improving mental health and wellbeing. As human beings we're the worst at telling ourselves all sorts of reasons why we can't do something. Improving wellbeing is tough without help and support.
To begin to make changes that stick, a coach can give you the support you need.
As a coach I help people find positive, workable goals and support them in achieving them. These goals are sometimes over-arching ones about a change in direction (life, career); other times it is helping someone unravel thinking and finding solutions that work on a smaller scale, but no less challenging.
Underneath it all most people want greater confidence and to find the motivation. Do you recognise this chain of thought:
- Think about the challenge of making a change; anxiety and fear (a natural human reaction by the way) surface as a physiological and emotional reaction to the thinking
- This leads to finding reasons in your head why you can't (or won't) do it
- You lapse, stop or don't even start
- This leads to de-motivation and thoughts that reinforce 1 and 2
- End of trying to make a change - it stays as a thought and a jumbled mess of ideas, feelings and needs; it feeds reasons why we can't do it and reinforces low confidence. It's still there, and we know we should do something, but we don't (try noticing how may times you say to yourself "I should" and end up not doing anything).
Having a coach provides the you with the means to deal with this and to stop "should-ing" and start doing. A coach helps unravel thinking so you understand your perceptions and motivations stem from internalised beliefs, i.e. perceptions and thoughts that have become a routine way of dealing - or not dealing with - change. So coaching helps you change these inbuilt patterns of thinking and enables you to "find the way". And when you find the way and start doing things that achieve change, your confidence and motivation increases. As the brilliant Neil Pasricha has written and spoken about, motivation and happiness start with doing something, not the other way round.
Get yourself a coach in 2018! As your coach I will help you:
- unravel and make sense of your thinking and goals for change
- deal with what's getting in the way (whatever it is)
- succeed in taking actions that are do-able that increase your motivation
- work towards goals that are achievable - and actually achieve them
- improve your wellbeing and confidence
You will learn and be able to have:
- better responses to difficult situations and perceived challenges when they happen in the future
- greater skills, self awareness and self confidence
- techniques and tools for a happier life work balance
- ways to maintain your wellbeing and confidence
- the motivation to achieve the change you aim for
Here's link to my enquiry page if you'd like to have a conversation.